In this silent drop of night,
In the heavenly looking moonlight,
Bathed you stand- oh my love.
The untold love of mine to you,
Burning my heart to deep
I tried to tell you my love, when
We walk together in crowds
When, we stood alone in the rain for hours
There was something unknown- which,
Hold me back from your love.
The pain of untold love
It was more than I could bear
In a cursed moment I told you my love
And now I hear the requiem of my love
Still you stand in front of me,
Like the mysterious Leda of history
I want to be a swan and come to you.
But, I know am not a Zeus...
To come silent in night
And steal your love
I remembered- stolen love….
Its bitter than the spoiled wine
Sadeesh Panamkuzhy
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Days in Panamkuzhy - A memoir III
Sitting alone… and thinking about absurd things happened to me…
The first love… Nithya… What made her love me..??? What made her leave me...? If she loved me… The moments in the corridors of my school... the stolen kisses and ^^^^^^^^^^ …..It happened from a joke between friends...
I really don’t like her and used to have bout with her all the day…. The day I saw her in morning alone, just blankly looking into the blankness…. The classes were not open… an early entry to the school… Between the smoke came out of cigar burned on my lips I saw her….
My first classmates among girls to know about my good habits….The same day afternoon I told about her to my friend… as a joke I told him that I love her… the news went on like a fire and finally came to her…
The tears in her eyes, when I get punished in the class…. The nick name she used to call me…The shivering fingers when she comes close to me… The smell of her hair….The long hours we spent together in the crowded classes….The mark of a burn on her right ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ she had…..
I was in high spirits… the life was heavenly looking… dreams were plenty and she was in my eyes all the time… note given to me by her hand had the smell of her skin.. I slept on them… small secrets we exchanged made me feel like a man…..My first B day card – I was running home to open it… I felt- the bus is going slow… there was a sign of her lips on the card… her kiss… her smell….
People grow and the relation becomes fragile and more demanding… we grow to the freedom of college life… The two colleges nearby Periyar… I don’t know what happened after that…The frequency of visit and kisses went less by and one day she left me.. To the infinite future……
Contd……………………….
The first love… Nithya… What made her love me..??? What made her leave me...? If she loved me… The moments in the corridors of my school... the stolen kisses and ^^^^^^^^^^ …..It happened from a joke between friends...
I really don’t like her and used to have bout with her all the day…. The day I saw her in morning alone, just blankly looking into the blankness…. The classes were not open… an early entry to the school… Between the smoke came out of cigar burned on my lips I saw her….
My first classmates among girls to know about my good habits….The same day afternoon I told about her to my friend… as a joke I told him that I love her… the news went on like a fire and finally came to her…
The tears in her eyes, when I get punished in the class…. The nick name she used to call me…The shivering fingers when she comes close to me… The smell of her hair….The long hours we spent together in the crowded classes….The mark of a burn on her right ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ she had…..
I was in high spirits… the life was heavenly looking… dreams were plenty and she was in my eyes all the time… note given to me by her hand had the smell of her skin.. I slept on them… small secrets we exchanged made me feel like a man…..My first B day card – I was running home to open it… I felt- the bus is going slow… there was a sign of her lips on the card… her kiss… her smell….
People grow and the relation becomes fragile and more demanding… we grow to the freedom of college life… The two colleges nearby Periyar… I don’t know what happened after that…The frequency of visit and kisses went less by and one day she left me.. To the infinite future……
Contd……………………….
Days in Panamkuzhy - A memoir II
The river periyar... She was my soul mate… I spent my time with her, listening to the rhyme less tunes she made…. Joining in her sorrows, when she flooded with tears and made nothing visible in her – the beautiful rocks and islands… She covered everything in her tears and rocked against trees at her banks in pursuit of her love…
The well known river for love… yea she took in many lives in her lap, the ones gave up life for love…. Too smart ones to play with her without knowing her much….the ones who didn’t realize her mood…. Still she flows – with the fury and cheer… I am racking my memory now, sitting in this city of sand and desert, to call back those times I spent in Panamkuzhy… The lost love and its pain…. Friends and foes…. The wet roads in rain…
Contd……………..
The well known river for love… yea she took in many lives in her lap, the ones gave up life for love…. Too smart ones to play with her without knowing her much….the ones who didn’t realize her mood…. Still she flows – with the fury and cheer… I am racking my memory now, sitting in this city of sand and desert, to call back those times I spent in Panamkuzhy… The lost love and its pain…. Friends and foes…. The wet roads in rain…
Contd……………..
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Days in Panamkuzhy - A memoir
There was a time… in Panamkuzhy -the river periyar.
The happiest phase in my life, though the life was sick, I enjoyed every moment of it… the frequent visit to periyar filled my soul with spirit… which didn’t lasted so long...
The old library in front of green rice field was my crib… I spent my evenings in thoughts and found no answer for my questions… Most of them were in relation to my life and times. I wanted to be in the company of some one- but nobody turned up, not even my parents…
I listened to the silent cries, sitting in that old library... The slaughter shop in front of library had an irony... Does a meet shop require such a beautiful location…? The surrounded rice field, the water canal flowing between each divided field… The wooden bridge connecting rice field and the meet shop…
Every Sunday an animal gave up its life there… to make us comfortable with our life – to let us celebrate our happiness and festivals… I could smell death in the air – that made me stop spending my time in Library… I searched other places... but found none… as most of them were al ready occupied with people…
Contd………………
The happiest phase in my life, though the life was sick, I enjoyed every moment of it… the frequent visit to periyar filled my soul with spirit… which didn’t lasted so long...
The old library in front of green rice field was my crib… I spent my evenings in thoughts and found no answer for my questions… Most of them were in relation to my life and times. I wanted to be in the company of some one- but nobody turned up, not even my parents…
I listened to the silent cries, sitting in that old library... The slaughter shop in front of library had an irony... Does a meet shop require such a beautiful location…? The surrounded rice field, the water canal flowing between each divided field… The wooden bridge connecting rice field and the meet shop…
Every Sunday an animal gave up its life there… to make us comfortable with our life – to let us celebrate our happiness and festivals… I could smell death in the air – that made me stop spending my time in Library… I searched other places... but found none… as most of them were al ready occupied with people…
Contd………………
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